College dorm life, complete with cold cinder block walls and the constant insatiable longing I felt in the pit of my stomach for real food, was perhaps the foremost experience that gave me an appreciation for the domestic arts. Though I was housed in the Honors dorm—the newest, nicest, and most private dorm, and presumably situated with some of the brightest students on campus—the experience lingers on in my mind as a bad memory, one which reminds me how it once felt to be a frustrated middle-school student at summer camp.
Alone in My Own Sphere
My dorm could not have been a more ideal situation. I lived in a quad with four other women in which we each had a private room. We shared a central living space and a bathroom without too much quibble, and we even grew to share spiritual events such as laughter and tears. Maybe it was the temperature of the cold tile floors in my bedroom in the morning, or the fact that we didn’t have a kitchen, but that place never felt like home, or even a place I could relax. Everyone was always dashing out, and then sauntering in with boyfriends at strange hours, and no one person would even commit to pitching in to buy toilet paper once in a while. Amidst all the traffic and communal chaos, I felt alone in my own sphere without a way to even cook a proper meal for myself. My one escape came from my friend who would call and invite me to make scones with him in the community kitchen of his dorm, often in the wee hours of the morning. We’d knead the dough and talk philosophy and religion, a nice change from the constant preoccupation of typing away at a computer screen.
My Greatest Joy
One day it dawned on me. It wasn’t so much that I missed my mother’s home cooking as that I missed being able to cook for my family. The dorm environment took away one of my greatest joys, the joy of caring for others. After one year, I withdrew from this university to attend a school closer to home and live with my family.
Thankful for My Choice
Though I received criticism from faculty and friends who were confused by my decision to leave the Honors program at my former university, I knew I had made was the right choice. This experience helped me identify and come to grips with the fact one day I dreamed of something more than a career. I am indebted to the feminist movement for giving me the choice to create and pursue my own definition of success.
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